On Reciprocation

09:13 Father and Son , God , Relationship , Religion , Spirituality 0 Comments

Father, I need to share my thoughts with you again. I know you are not tired of hearing my sometimes-silly views about life and my thoughts about you. I want to share what's on my mind right now since you first raised them in our previous discussion:

I agree, when i was a child, all I knew was that there was a Father (nicer than my biological father) whose job it was to care and provide for too many people. I quickly accepted that(you) as a fact. Well, that fact went the way of many other 'facts' of my life-I took it for granted.

Come to think of it, isn't it a fact that ALL children take for granted the fact that their parents have no choice but to provide for them? Isn't it a fact that all children think it is abominable to have parents who don't look after them? Won't that be seen as the height of irresponsibility?

The other day, you made me notice the fact that the relationship between parents and children tend to be very one-sided. Now that I think of it, I know parents care and provide for us children for the better parts of their(parents')lives but we children find it very hard to cater for them when it our turn to do so. Isn't it a fact you parents cater for us because we can't do Nada by ourselves? I really find it ironic that we find it hard to reciprocate that gesture when you parents become old and can't do much by yourselves. Not that you're that kind of parent anyway...

Truly, we children see that task as a daunting one and we would gladly welcome anything or anyone who could take up that responsibility on our behalf. Isn't that why, in more 'civilised' societies, old people are sent to do 'time' in care homes and nursing homes? What If you parents had done that to us when we were but helpless?

This brings me to my point, Father(more like your point though): When i was young and without any knowledge whatsoever, you cared and provided for me. You overlooked my many transgressions. You took time to seek me out and you trained me to be wise, so as to bring out the very best in me. Now that I can think and cater for myself, the worst has happened-I have unconsciously grown to think that I can do a lot without you. Whilst independence is not a bad thing in itself, it has affected my relationship with you; the relationship has become one-sided.

You've been trying to tell me that you need me to seek after things you seek after,to know your thoughts and to share ideas with you on how I could be of use to myself and to others around me who need help. That really sounded complicated to me when you first mentioned it but now I have an idea of what you were getting at. You can't blame me from running away from this complicated task though; I need to help myself first!

I know, Father, I know. It's ironic that I turn to you when I need you to do something for me but I seem to forget to reciprocate when you need me to do something for you. I know it's also funny that whenever I notice any distance between us, I turn to third parties to help me talk to you when I need help. Your collared friend is a third party truly but he's been of great assistance in the past so I do not balk to turn to him! You keep telling me though, that I need not go to him to get to you. We are of the same blood, you have made me understand that and I ought to be talking to you directly, especially about my personal matters. I know, I know, Father-it's warped thinking to think that doing favours for your collared friend should automatically nudge you into granting my wishes...

I wonder why I've not thought of the fact that what you need me to do for you is actually for my own benefit? I mean, getting closer to you is what you desire and it sure makes you glad when I go out of my way to do so. I wonder If what you said is true-that even If I don't get close to you, it won't change who and what you are and won't make your love for me wane? Deep down in my heart, I know this is undeniable truth! I know that even if i don't get close to you, your other children will, and that should really make me jealous, right? I've thought hard about all these points you raised and I'm ready to make amends. It's always refreshing whenever I talk to you...I look forward to more of our man-to-man talks. Thanks, Father...